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Tuesday 20 March 2018

Becoming a big sister for the first time

By Becca Morrison

A number of weeks have passed since we jumped on a flight from Heathrow to Lilongwe, and how so many things have changed. Now separated from the Salima team, we find ourselves slowly integrating into the Malawian culture. Something that’s so close but so far apart from the western ways we are used to. For me, trying to fit into my host home has been a personal struggle, one that others don’t exactly understand.

My host family consists of a single working woman named Hazel and her adopted 4-month-old daughter Zoyolo. The baby was abandoned by her mother at 3 days old in the hospital, Hazel could never have a child of her own so took Zoyolo in as her own. Since she works in Lilongwe Monday to Friday, she has 3 house maids that are relatives who cook, clean and help out.

My host sister on her 4 month birthday

My daily life consists of having my breakfast prepared for me every morning, when I return from work there is a cup of tea waiting and then dinner is served with one place mat for me. The first struggle is how comfortable this way of living is compared to our friends in Salima as well as half of Malawians, living under the poverty line.

How can I live like this when the children I’m going to visit share beds with their siblings and barely eat enough to sustain them till morning?

Overtime I’ve come to realise is this just the way that development works but if we all learn to live with it, then nothing changes. My host mother is very clued into the development system as she currently works for an NGO planting trees in Malawi to help agriculture. She’s trying to make a difference to a very misunderstood country, as Malawi is often portrayed as one of the poorest countries. Despite this, they have a never-ending amount of motivation and hope as well as passion to change their country.

Miso Isabel, our neighbour, helping with the washing

The culture shock takes time to really settle in but once you look at the differences between Malawi and the UK, it’s really quite strange. Whilst they are way more welcoming than many people in the UK, the addition of white skin in their community is difficult to comprehend. We know this from the song the kids sing at the house next door as we walk past, “azungu-bye” which literally translates to “white people bye”. However, it’s become a nice welcome home every lunch time, you can’t be mad at children for being intrigued by the colour of my skin.

The walk home every day after work

Five weeks in and it’s getting easier to live this way after I expressed my concerns to my host mother. She replied very quickly by saying that by me living here, I am making a difference to each of them. Each of the maids is being paid extra to cater for me every day, which means they can save more money to buy a house of their own. I am also teaching Vitu some more English, so he can excel at school and get a good job in the future. Lastly, as Hazel reminds me constantly, I have given Zoyolo the sister she needs and not to mention the sister I have always wanted. I came to Malawi to experience culture and to make a difference but I’ll be leaving with a second family.



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